Igniter - blog

「無能男」?

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Sun, 15 Jan 2006 02:35:00 -0600

昨日，在地鐡站看見一個男人為他的女朋友摺褲腳。

明知是有點偏激，但心裡還是立時駡了他一句「犯賤」。

回心一想，如果蹲下來摺褲腳的是女的，我想我還是會駡男的「賤格」。

唉，香港女人的特權也。不論扮演強者或是弱者，女人好像永遠都是對的一方。

女人氣勢凌人，把男人都迫到牆角去。其實，香港的一衆「無能男」，某程度上是否女人自己一手養成的呢?

小學會考常識科1953年試題

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 04:30:00 -0600

早前有朋友把這個傳給我看。看罷，立時對各位老前輩們肅然起敬。

1953exam1.2.jpg

航天員訪港囉，唉…

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Sun, 27 Nov 2005 10:20:00 -0600

剛剛看完有線新聞台報導聶海勝和費俊龍訪港。短短幾分鐘的新聞片，使人憂心的事真的許多，排行較前的如下:

一.

記者: 「你同邊個握手呀?」

小學生: 「聶海勝!」

記者: 「邊隻手呀? 」

小學生: 「呢隻! 」(擧起右手)

記者: 「覺得點呀? 」

小學生: 「好開心! 」

記者: 「點解開心呀? 」

小學生: 「因為握到手!」

記者: 「跟住你會點呀? 」

小學生: 「我會唔洗呢隻手!」

「點解你握到手咁開心呀? 」「因為握到手囉。」

二.

記者: 「點解咁開心呀? 」

中學生: 「因為簽到名!」

記者: 「好難簽哦呵? 」

中學生: 「好難呀，佢地個個都唔俾我簽，但我俾佢簽都簽到!」

中學生:「佢地個個都唔俾我簽，佢地個個都唔了解我，佢地個個都唔俾我做呢様唔俾我做果様，佢地個個都係咁…」

係囉，佢地個個都係儍架囉，簽名咁大件事都唔俾，你以為我簽唔到咩? 最緊要簽到名，我理得你地點解唔俾人簽名，理得你點解要維持秩序，理得你點解驚踩死人…理得你!

三:

小學生發問: 「如果，像我一樣，是一個九歲的女孩子，想成為一個女太空人，我應該怎樣準備自己呢? 」(腔調未能傳神地以文字表達)

老師報告:「呢句野已經經過校箽會多次會議後審批，及同學多個月來的朗誦練習，務求國語發音準確及朗讀時一字不漏。句中所表達的主題有: 一. 年少志大，及二. 巾幗不讓鬚眉。主題跟聶海勝和費俊龍作為航天員的凌霄壯志相呼應，是MODEL QUESTION 的上上之選也。」

阿門!

電話對話一則

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Fri, 25 Nov 2005 09:10:49 -0600

嘟嘟，嘟嘟…

「XX機構，有咩嘢幫到你?」

「喂，我地想捐物資。」

「唔知係邊類型既物資呢? 」

「我地有D杏仁餅，最佳食用日期係九月(果陣已經係十月中)，想捐去巴基斯坦。」

「嗯…杏仁餅我地唔收架噃，而且你D杏仁餅過咗期，唔可以俾D災民架喇。」

「吓? 我D杏仁餅無過期，果個係最佳食用日期黎啫，仲食得架。」

「嗯…唔好意思，我地真係唔可以收。」

「吓? 有無攪錯呀! 你地咩嘢機構黎架，浪費哂D嘢! 都唔知你地點做嘢架!」

「我地…」

咯咯(掛線)

面對此等「邏輯」，枉論辯駁的衝動，簡直連說話的意慾都沒有了。

想辯才的消失並非無因，但這也總有點惡性循環吧。

南亞地震第二浪災難

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 05:20:00 -0500

隨着時間過去，對南亞地震的報導開始減少，香港的傳媒固然不在話下，連國際傳媒亦然。好不容易才在BBC的網頁找到有關南亞地震災情的連結，不禁有點唏噓---管你多少人在水深火熱之中，新聞價值永遠排在首位。紅十字會2005年出了一份Disaster Report，內裡有談到Silent Disaster，就正是那些擠不進報頭報尾的天災人禍。(小妹未有時間拜讀，稍後才向大家報告。)

南亞地震沉寂過來。「好慘呀」，說過了；錢，捐了；然後事情被忘記了。但那兒的災情並沒有減退，想傳媒再報導之時，應是當地第二浪的災難。

聯合國緊急救援隊評現有的援助及災情:

"This is not enough. We have never had this kind of logistical nightmare ever. We thought the tsunami was the worst we could get. This is worse."

已遇難的五萬人現在可好好地睡一睡，但未亡的數百萬「倖存者」，餘下來的日子是另一輪的Survivor Game。

Doctors have also warned that tetanus could become a big problem in quake areas if vaccinations are not carried out properly.
In the ruined town of Balakot, people have been burning clothes donated by charities in an effort to keep warm.
Thousands of people from ruined villages may still be trapped on steep mountainsides posing a formidable obstacle to helicopter landings.

海嘨其間全球有92個國家申出援手，救援物資中什至有吃不完的牛排；如今，這個在喜瑪拉雅山地勢和天氣下發生的災難，郤只有20多個國家願意支援。可能真的要等到第二輪死亡數字上升，各地才會有反應，然後又聲言於事後作檢討，不會讓此等事情再發生云云。但人命都從沙漏中靜靜流逝了。

(*有關資料及圖片摘自BBC網上新聞)

--> 紅十字會捐款網頁

香港紅十字會南亞賑災金戶口滙豐銀行: 500-334149-010

無國界醫生南亞地震捐款戶口 滙豐銀行: 002-2-398226

'Norm' Hype

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Wed, 05 Oct 2005 08:20:00 -0500

I was on the bus yesterday, overheard the conversation between a sister and a brother. The lady was commenting about her figure, which she delightfully regarded as ‘amongst the norm’.

Oh, why so matter to be amongst the norm, which is simply a reflection of the traits or desire of the majority group? In this sense, is this something that we need to care so much about, that to the extreme case, worthy of guarding its integrity?

‘Norm’ is hype. It's only a ever-changing label ruled by circumstances.

Look around our world now.

There are all kinds of people doing all sorts of thing. It’s like habitants on different planets, walking in a different way from yours for their planet is having a different gravity level. So, why so important to remain walking in the Earthway, while you're already on the Moon? And why force the minority Martians to walk in the Earth-way, which you think is the legitimate? Well, as long as they’re not emitting poisonous gas to you while they do the walk, what’s the rationale behind?

It is interesting indeed, the norm that people tends to guard can be changed ridiculously, imagine...

If the majority of human being is a species that eats grass, but you’re the only one eating meat, you will probably be regarded as a bloody killer, who will probably be hanged.
If the majority of human being don’t have hair, but you got those black lining coming out from the scalp of your head, you’re surely a freak.
If the norm of human being are homosexual, but you are not, a moral-guarding league is rite there to fight against you.

Come on, it’s all a matter of circumstances. If no harm is caused, why not respect the vastness of thought? There’s more to come in the future.

引Hitchhiker’s Guide 有趣的一段…

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Thu, 29 Sep 2005 10:45:00 -0500

最近在看Douglas Adams的Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (即電影「星際快閃黨」的原著)，幽默有趣，不乏哲理。這裡引其中一段來分享一下:

“…a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.

And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with NOT being a whale any more.

This is a complete record of its thought from the moment it began its life till the moment it ended it.

Ah…! What’s happening? It thought.

Er, excuse me, who am I?

Hello?

Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life?

What do I mean by who am I?

Calm down, get a grip now…oh! This is an interesting sensation, what is it? It’s a sort of…yawning, tingling sensation in my…my…well, I suppose I’d better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let’s call it my stomach.

Good. Oooh, it’s getting quite strong. And hey, what about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that…wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do…perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What is this thing? This…let’s call it a tail --- yeah, tail. Hey! I can really thrash it about pretty good, can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. Now, have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?

No.

Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I’m quite dizzy with anticipation…

Or is it the wind?

There really is a lot of that now, isn’t there?

And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming toward me very fast? Very, very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide-sounding name like…ow…ound…round…ground! That is it! That’s a good name---ground!

I wonder if it will be friends with me?

And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.”

好一個人生寫照。相對於宇宙的浩瀚，人的生命就仿如鯨魚從天空掉到地上的一瞬間，而現有的知識也只是這一瞬間的所思所想而已。

以為很偉大，其實渺小得笑爆咀!

"Learning IN it"

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 10:30:00 -0500

香港理工大學工商管理研究院最近推出了一個海報，張貼於部份地鐡車廂內。

海報以黑白為主色, 背景是一貨運站，有兩位工程師模樣的專業人仕正指着遠處討論着。黑白的海報上，只有女學生是彩色的，她坐在一旁，用心地聆聽，拿着筆記簿做筆記。海報的標題是 “Why learn ABOUT it, while you can learn IN it?” 當中的意思是指理大的工商管理研究院能提供實際學習環境，不是紙上談兵。

越看越覺得矛盾，甚至有點反諷。

海報上的女學生是彩色的，工程師和他們所在的環境是黑白的，彩色和黑白的強烈對比給我的訊息是「這是兩個不同的世界」。這個沒問題，學校跟現實社會向來都是兩個世界。只是，女學生只坐在一旁觀察，也就是從自己的世界向外看而已，並沒有參予對方的世界。這個怎能算是 “learn IN it”? 最多也只能說是“physically IN”而已。

另外，我不明白的是女學生的形象。海報中的女學生被塑造成一典型乖乖女，齊肩的頭髮，穿著踏實，微笑側頭用心聆聽，手中拿着紙筆準備記下重點。這個被動的學習態度又有點脫節了。主角也不什存在於現實，那如何走進現實世界去學習呢?

很想把這個廣告改改:

首先，彩色跟黑白的對比其實沒必要，學生跟環境有着同一色調才顯示出學生真的走進這世界裡去。而且，學生應跟環境內的人物作交流嘛。現代教學不是強調學生參予、體驗和發問的嗎? 幹嗎悄悄坐在一旁像在偷窺似的? 還有那形象，不是要求女學生頂尖時髦，但她的學習態度可以積極點嗎? 如托頭作思考狀，又或作欲發言狀也可嘛? 再者，作為商學院的廣告，請放下手上的紙筆，走前一點，換一部電子手賬或手提電腦成嗎?

於我來看，海報的標題應是 “Why learn about it, if you are faking to learn IN it?”

畢竟，廣告也是藝術的一種，不同觀者有不同詮釋，但總覺得一個高明的廣告應可照顧到這一點，能銳化所要帶出的訊息，牽引觀者作有關聯想，而非引發無限的詮釋和想像空間。

或許這廣告的創作人其實是借機來個控訴吧? 香港的教育問題多多，縱有許多教學理想，但也只做得了表面，骨子裡到底還是舊東西。

記憶力

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Sat, 24 Sep 2005 01:15:00 -0500

朋友都說我記憶力差，有時我想，也不盡是吧?

單是日常生活必須要記的數字、英文字、符號等等，當中許多無關聯、無意思的，也記得滿腦子都是，這不是記憶力的表現是什麼?

什麼MP3、 PDA、 GPS、 DVD、 VCD、 ISP、 EPS、 KFC、 USB、 UBS、 SMS、 MSM、 BMW、 BMX、 MBA、 NBA、 TVB、 ETV、 BBC、 UBC、 DHL、 DHA、 CNN、 VPN、 RSS、 UST、 DKNY、 HSBC、 2388、 0005、 0906、 0330、 0941；還有電郵信箱密碼、屋苑大閘密碼、留言信箱密碼、銀行戶口密碼、電腦登入密碼、身份証號碼、手提電話號碼、學生証號碼、會員証號碼、員工號碼、車牌號碼、確認號碼、雜誌訂閱號碼、誰和誰的生辰死忌、什麼時間是最後限期．．．Buuuuuppps．．．.腦袋開始出現排斥, 數字字母符號不禁從五孔溢出，掉得一地都是。

「咇….對不起，請輸入內含數字、大小寫英文字及符號的18個位密碼. 如: AJerkW/>100PSWD!!?」

「咇….對不起，請輸入你HOTMAIL的賬戶密碼，不是YAHOO MAIL、 GMAIL、SINA MAIL、 HELLO KITTY MAIL 或COMPANY EMAIL 的賬戶密碼。」

不知不覺記了這麼多無謂東西，弄得腦袋一但要反芻什麼出來時, 便閉塞了。下次要是你看見我呆呆的坐着一動也不動，請你過來狠狠的拍一下我的背，好讓我把那些多餘的數字呀什麼的痛快地吐一回，要不，我怕腦袋受不了，要自尋短見，害得我變植物人．　

(跟你玩個三字經遊戲，1秒鐘內，把上面的英文簡稱的長寫唸出，看能唸出多少個, 嘿!)

Terrorist Wanted: Ms Katrina Hurricane

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Fri, 16 Sep 2005 02:45:00 -0500

'The tsunami disaster was triggered by a machine, and so did Hurricane Katrina…'

Yes, weird may it sound, but it does exist in the mind of some people.

Chatting with an interesting Australian lady yesterday on ‘Terrorism’, and after a beer or so, I got struck by some eye-budging ideas from the other hemisphere of the globe.

She said, ‘You know, I do believe that the tsunami in South East Asia was made by a machine.’

‘What?!’ I thought loudly.

‘Yes, that’s true. I think the Australian government does own a machine that can create natural catastrophe. And there’re actually quite a lot of people having the same thought as me.’ (see reference below)

The conversation continued with why Aceh was the most devastated region, the oil concerns, etc. It then led to the deduction that Hurricane Katrina is also a man-made event. On top of that, 9-11 was actually a drama directed by Bush.

‘I’m going to look into what’s the motivation behind this hurricane,’ she said.

Plane plunging into the Twin Towers should exist only in fiction. Yet, it happened before our eyes. Such a fictitious world as this is, I no longer have the ground to deny any insane possibility. Today, we have baby rejected from boarding the plane because his/ her parents unfortunately pick the same name as one on the terrorist list. And we have young man shot dead at the will of the police, who ‘thought’ he was a terrorist.

And now, the coming of Katrina is also thought to be a result of a political conspiracy. um...interesting indeed.

If this is a fiction that I'm existing in, can I choose to be a Martian?

*************************************************************

Link for reference:

http://www.independent-media.tv/item.cfm?fmedia_id=10211&fcategory_desc=Under%20Reported

http://www.vialls.com/subliminalsuggestion/tsunami.html